"Yes, I would LOVE it if you just took my son to some far-off hellhole that doesn't even share my faith to learn your ways. Fuckin' dumbass."

Explanation: In the time of the Crusades, there were long periods of peace inbetween, and in these times, Christian and Muslim inhabitants of the Levant would often intermingle and even establish friendships. Of course, sometimes what seems rational and amicable to one culture may seem insane to another…

In the army of King Fulk, son of Fulk, there was a respected Frankish knight who had come from their country just to go pilgrimage and then return home. He grew to like my company and he became my constant companion, calling me ‘my brother’. Between us there were ties of amity and sociability. When he resolved to take to the sea back to his country, he said to me:

‘My brother, I am leaving for my country. I want you to send your son (my son, who was with me, was fourteen years old) with me to my country, where he can observe the knights and acquire reason and chivalry. When he returns, he will be like a truly rational man.’

And so there fell upon my ears words that would never come from a truly rational head! For even if my son were taken captive, his captivity would not be as long as any voyage he might take to the land of the Franks.

So I said, ‘By your life, I was hoping for this very thing. But the only thing that has prevented me from doing so is the fact that his grandmother adores him and almost did not allow him to come here with me until she had exacted an oath from me that I would return him to her.’

‘Your mother,’ he asked, ‘she is still alive?’

Yes,’ I replied.

‘Then do not disobey her,’ he said.

“Bro, I TOTALLY had the same exact insane fucking idea you had, but my mom made my promise not to.”

“Oh, man, mothers, amirite? Well, I get it, no sense in poking that hornets’ nest.”