JemmyYou have 8 seconds.
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fossilesquehttps://mander.xyz/pictrs/image/e8df54e2-f86a-4573-9639-24a3af75f337.jpeg
https://mander.xyz/pictrs/image/e8df54e2-f86a-4573-9639-24a3af75f337.jpeg
Absolutely nothing, because I wouldn't want a stranger to talk to me in an elevator and I was raised to do unto others.
I feel awkward being in public without interaction. It's like my brain goes into overdrive, trying to predict a sudden interaction incoming like a quick time event
I'd comment on something slightly more relevant than the weather, because the conversation can then fade to comfortable silence (for me at least) knowing no more conversation is likely, or I'd do what I always do when someone engages - everyone has something interesting about them, I'll throw the conversation in random directions until I find a topic worth speaking about
Lady in red. It's a simulation, no experiment is going to show anything worthwhile.
"Look again."
*looks*
"Fuck, I wish you'd stop doing that, Morpheus."
Considering it's only 8 seconds this must be the fastest fucking elevator ever so I'm probably screaming
The elevator is actually out of order, she likes hanging in there, but you leave as soon as you see it doesn't work
Is she a ghost?
Nothing and just awkwardly stare on the floor or wall, like with anyone else.
I make brief eye contact, purse my lips to form a half-smile, and nod my head downward. Then i move to an open corner of the elevator, i pull my phone out, and i end my turn.
The elevator stops at the next floor and a Chadbro™ enters. He does not notice you, and does not press any buttons on the elevator. He sniffs his pits before posting his hand on the wall beside the woman and whispers something in her ear. Her face changes to disgust and she darts a pleading glance in your direction, silently asking for help.
I put on my robe and wizard hat
Please understand how small an elevator is, and how big fireball is. Your party is begging you.
I smile casually then turn slightly away from them before sitting down crossed legs facing away, trying to focus on my romantic web comics.
You forgot to roll for initiative!
Combat hasn't been initiated. lol
Famous last words.
"haha roll initiation for what? im in a elevator :p"
*Chadbro slowly begins to turn. A smirk creeps across his face as he stares daggers into my soul.*
*He draws a broadsword*
"Oh"
Well, considering the only elevator I take is to a secure area, I'd ask to see your visitor's badge and inform you civilians aren't allowed here unescorted.
She IS the escort.
I got a gift card from the airport for challenging the "secret shopper" once. Apparently had walked past four actual employees before I challenged him. I was on my way to the jobsite.
Why do you assume she doesn't have clearance?
No access badge clearly visible attached between neck and waist.
And if she's holding it in her hand to put on? I just can't imagine dresses being prohibited in secure areas.
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We have 11 people with clearance and I know them all.
Only cleav..ance. Haha!
Well, Pac-man was originally called Puck-man. They changed it because... Not because Pac-man looks like a hockey puck. "Paku Paku" means "flap your mouth", and they were worried that people would change, scratch out the P turn it into an F, like...
Were you the Pac-man guy?
No I was the fuck man guy... wait
Nothing because I'm taking the stairs
"I can be done in 7."
I don't understand. What's a uniform gravitational field and why does being inside one feels like standing in an accelerating elevator?
This is a joke about Einstein's form of the Equivalence Principle:
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Equivalence_principle
Thanks. Let's see:
And
I'm just beginning to understand. I'm not there yet.
If you are standing in a closed box, there is no experiment you can make that tells you whether that box is standing on earth, or is on a rocket in space accelerating at 9.81m/s²
This has a bunch of interesting implications about the nature of spacetime
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That's how you can tell if you're accelerating
For a small moment in time my dick and my brain will have separable frames of reference
Absolutely nothing because people who have elevator conversations are not worth talking to.
Hey. Some of my best conversations have taken place in an elevator.
But yeah, I'm not worth talking to
Going down?
If you jump at the right moment, you can achieve weightlessness.
"You gonna jump? 3... 2... 1... GO!"
I wouldn't say anything because some women find elevator pickup attempts intimidating.
Just follow the good old rules of 1 and 2.
It's not hard
Don't talk about fight club?
DON'T TALK ABOUT FIGHT CLUB?
Be attractive
Don't be unattractive
Way back when I was single, I could pick up a woman without even having to corner her.
Tbf women say they find just interacting with men at all intimidating, see: Bears. I just don't talk to anyone anymore tbh.
I'm gonna die alone with my cats, but at least I won't be called creepy for asking a woman out for coffee!
No, privacy nightmare.
Don't trust what the loud voices say.
Many, if not most, women are normal humans like you, looking for interaction like you.
Women won't let men leave until they've squashed a bug that's 20 feet away from them. The bear thing was always bullshit.
No that's not fair, they do not. Don't be creepy in the elevator, or alone in the woods, or anywhere else where you guys are gonna say "because of the implication".
Also don't ask women out at the gym, at work, in a store, on the street, or any hobby where they just want to enjoy themselves and not have to be asked out politely or otherwise.
The only acceptable places according to women are on the apps and in bars, or church supposedly if you're one of those.
I don't do the privacy violating apps, I don't drink much anymore, and both of those are more "hook up" culture while I want like "an actual relationship," and church just isn't for me. Like, I could go hang out but I'm not going to believe in your gods, and that is a point of contention with the faithful.
You know what I figured out as a man? Just listen to the other party in this order of increasing priority: body language, facial expression, their words. MAIN THING TO AVOID: Never assume they are/will be comfortable with you. Never assume consent with body language or facial expression. If they want to be romantically involved THEY will approach you.
Before I was married my mind was on alert talking women in order not to come off as creepy. This was with women whom I had purely platonic relationships like my coworkers or college mates. I am aware the effect men have with their staring. To this day when I am walking on the street I make sure to not walk behind women. If I can i overtake them. If not I just change directions even if my destination is straight ahead. Treating the nonfamily women in my life like I would treat men should be the right thing to do... but its not easy with the reputation that men have among women.
So my point effectively is just don't be creepy and pushy. Just be polite and reciprocate interest. Otherwise just treat them like your sister or guy friend.
Why don't you use websites without using apps?
That's just wrong and putting a blanket statement for no reason.
Edit: Whoops wrong comment! H/o.
Sure it's a blanket statement, so you're of the opinion I should be asking more strangers out in public then?
It's possible to talk to random women without seeming intimidating. Always leave an easy out. Don't be pushy. Be casual. The thing people don't get is they try to just fish for numbers. Sometimes, just a compliment and never talking to her again is what *you* need.
But, the best way to meet new people for relationships is to meet new friends. Every person you meet opens a ton of opportunities for experiences and connections.
Don't start talking to them with the intent to ask them out. Just see if you can get their attention, see of you can find a little bit of common ground to build a conversation on, then, if they are receiving you well over the course of your conversation, say something like "hey, I enjoyed talking to you, would you mind meeting up some other time?" or something to that effect. This works best in places for socializing, bars, music venues, hobby spaces, etc. It can be applied to more formal places, just has to happen over a broader period of time, as you get to know your coworkers, or whatever.
The strong vibes of "my intent in talk to you is to have sex" is, often, what makes things uncomfortable. So, even if you can't find common ground, or the conversation went well and she turns you down, or gives some non-committal answer, and you part ways amicably, you will have not be seen as some creep.
"Nice uhh, b-leather we're having, uh."
*cry, drop my spaghetti and run out*
You don't have the proper PPE for the radiologically controlled area.
The modern mind is in complete disarray. Knowledge has stretched itself to the point where neither the world nor our intelligence can find any foot-hold. It is a fact that we are suffering from nihilism.
Nothing, I don't like small talk with strangers.
Tip my fedora and say M'Lady
Get in the lift.
Stare while ripping an absolutely rancid fart that strips the enamel off her teeth.
Sharpie my number across her tits and give her "double-guns" on the way out
Thanks for making me laugh!
That's because you have big jugs.
I mean, your boobs are huge!
I mean, I want to squeeze em!
Mamma!
I was thinking about this exact scene
Damn. Mod removed my comment because it said "boobies". Surprised yours is still up.
Risky click of the day paid off
What the fuck was that x)
Liar liar. 90s movie where Jim Carey plays a lawyer that gets put under a spell or something n then can't tell a lie anymore.
I was looking at my phone and didn’t notice you.
Is this elevator always that fast?
(Before hitting either the ceiling or the floor and both dying, probably.)
Honest flirtatious answer: I’d say nice dress and match the energy and vibe of her response.
Not flirtatious answer: ”it always feels weird how you can notice the acceleration in tall elevators”
Omg girl, you look amazing in that dress. I'm so jealous. Be safe girl and remember to cover your drink.
Literally the only correct answer other than polite silence.
There's always "hello" and "have a nice day"
That's not how 'literally' works
Literally has been used as an intensifier for over 200 years. The Oxford English Dictionary includes the definition of "figuratively". Jane Austen, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Henry David Thoreau, James Fenimore Cooper, James Joyce, Charles Dickens, and Mark Twain all used it that way in their writing.
It is truly bizarre that one of the definitions of the word is literally the opposite of the primary definition of the word, however.
The dictionary is descriptive, not proscriptive. Language evolves
I knew I'd receive that reply, and I know it to be true. It's still very odd, as noted. I'm sure there are other examples where one definition contradicts another, but none immediately spring to mind.
If a hotdog is a sandwich, is the ocean a soup?
A hotdog is not a sandwich.
If you serve bacon, lettuce, and tomato on a plate, you do not call that a sandwich.
But if you serve a hotdog without a bun, you still call it a hotdog.
QED.
In German, that would be a just a sausage
Do you have a term like “hotdog” for a sausage of questionable origin in a bun? Or is it, like, sausageofquestionableorigininabun like other German compound words? 😁
The best German word is backfeifengezicht. It means: "a face in need of a slap/punch"
nah in this case it's just sausage on its own - i know, boring 😄 people only refer to it as hotdog only if it's in a bun
And using that same reasoning, a hotdog on a bun is a sandwich.
I would be inclined to agree with, “a hotdog on a bun is a sandwich.”
It is *The* Primordial Soup
I would like the primordial salad instead
A hotdog is a taco.
Second 1: introduce myself
Second 2: Andrew Tate pose
Second 3: obtain phone number
Second 4: go on date
Second 5: head home with them
Second 6: get touchy
Second 7: undress
Second 8: get off at my floor because I already came at second 1.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=VLnWf1sQkjY
This is getting insane. I (somewhat at least) get those "you have 24hs with me" ones but what am i gonna do with you in 8 seconds. Id rather spend 24h with an egirl than 8 seconds with you lol.
"Damn! You do wonderful things for that dress." But only if I have an available exit to walk away after. That one's too forward for the actual elevator ride. Leave her an out, and also an opening.
I’ve probably got somewhere to be, so I’m just hoping you’ll ride the elevator in silence like me.
How did you get into my private elevator? SECURITY!
I was expecting this to be a video where her tits bounce in an elevator. Thoroughly disappointed.
8 seconds? Is she going up one floor?
Wouldn't say anything. I'd think about this song: "I took her to an elevator, I don't know why but it had to start in somewhere, so it started there".
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Does someone have the rest of the photo set or video.... For research.
"Are you an AI model?" #new_kind_of_creepy
'What a nice blouse you have on there'
How much?
"did you slap fletcher reed today?"
so its a rodeo
Realistically nothing. You gain very little by saying something than you lose not saying anything. The only time people are somewhat open to being talked to, is when they already recognise you a little...
Boobs are not supposed to be a solid blob... What have you done to them?
True statement: when I first heard the Perry Farrel song, I thought he was singing "She's got great tits, she's got great tits". Turns out he was singing "We'll make great pets" and it was a song about an alien invasion of Earth.
from Porno for Pyros 'Pets' song the lyric is 'We'll make great pets'
Corrected, thanks
Your mother was right
“Christ, what an asshole, am i right?!”
It’s a bit nipply in here, huh?
Even superman can't it make hump for 8 second. 🤣
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No matter how they look, no matter what they wear, nobody wants to be sexually assaulted. No one ever does.
"Nature has been extraordinarily kind to you."
Me: Barely looking at her “Ohh hey Trish, sorry for not calling you back”
Her: Looks at me weird… “My names not Trish”
Me: Glance at Her a little closer. “Ohh sorry you look like someone I dated once.” Go back to staring ahead and exit the elevator like a boss.
“Im sorry, but you are fucking stunning… if I told you you had an amazing body, would you hold it against me?” cue cheesy smile
It’s probably not going to get me anywhere but it might make her laugh, or at least not file sexual harassment charges for speaking to her… lol
Don't do this lol
In reality I would do what most people would and just keep to myself…
Just thought I would add some comedy to the thread 😎